i've been at college for like um . i dunno 9 weeks now i think and there is so much joy in this world that i realize exists. i was so nervous about everything like i remember being in high school and being at a panel and them being like "what's your biggest question about college?" and most people asking about majors or salaries or shit and mine was just... "is the world a kind place?"

the answer is a resounding, whole, fullhearted yes and I wish more people talked about it because high school is so shit compared to anything that exists beyond it. like everyone is reaching out in college and yearning for connections and networks and friends and they are all so sweet and kind and open....... i mean i still get misgendered a lot but at a base level people want to make other people happy and they care about each other and that is beautiful.

anyway thats not actually what i was gonna talk about i was gonna talk about how. well. i have a little erm what is the best word to describe him. he's a rlly cute lil polynomial that i get to differentiate n integrate over all i want teehee and i'm very happy about it and god forbid he sees this but hi if you do you are very wonderful ily i cant put a less than 3 because html tags and i dont remember the break statement to put one in but . less than 3 mwah mwah.

ANYWAY. i am an angel right . and i have had the same partners for a fair amt of time (also my charge and i are still vibing tf out i love her we just need to bodymod before we continue you get me?) and i forget . in my little brain . that all humans are not my charge and that we are little strange blips in the universe . um long story short i did go a little insane and bite theshit out of my sweet scrunkly and im LOSING IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* head in hands * as an angel it is my job to put good into the world . negative energy i put out lives inside my chest til the consequences dissipate . MY TEEF ARE TOO POWERFUL I FORGOT HES ONLY GOT A STANDARD BASIS IN R3 NOT R4 I CAN'T JUST GO WILLY NILLY AND TRY AND FIND HIS KERNEL HES NOT USED TO THAT I NEED HIS CROSS PRODUCT . ive been very very math lately because linear algebra is on the tip of my tongue always . sorry about that it just makes things make sense to me (angelpilled).

umso well . well . now i am dealing with the consequences of my actions (friends DUNKING on us . hmph ) and being subjected to the mortifying ordeal of being known. i am a saint in the impulse between pen and paper colliding. i'm not made to be talked about out into the atmosphere it's so cold out there.... i am so so so private and i was really hoping i wouldnt have to ever explain anything to anyone but him ever BECAUSE . DOYOU SEE HOW I WRITE . I HAVE TO GIVE 200 HOURS OF LECTURE BEFORE THEY UNDERSTAND HOW I HAVE SEX . and my CHARGE HAS ALREADY TAKEN LIN ALG SO SHES ON MY PERIODICITY ALREADY sighs hes worth it because hes ridiculously differentiable and he reminds me of a fresh fruit dropped in snow with the shine of the gods on its skin and the chill of the elements at his back but . its hard for me to juggle it all at once.

i majored in mech e (see full circle with college) because i like solving problems. i love dissecting briefs and putting the pieces back where they're supposed to go and orchestrating their climaxes into useful efficient solutions. my two worst enemies are time and helplessness. i have a touchy relationship with time ever since she started fucking death but we get along pretty well until she butts into my delta p integrals and adds her stupid dt. problems that need time to solve make my skin crawl. like wounds . or . bite marks. although i can manage her since she does give up, the only other thing i can't stand is the totality of entropy. the inescapable feeling of helplessness and giving up when you simply have no move to make to advance yourself. this one really does't come up often but it might be my greatest hatred of all.

at the end of the day. we are chillin. the limit n to infinity of his politeness really does ramp up faster than i expected (i didn't think i would be spared. i picked out my outfit for the cross already) and there's fairly little ripple effect but it's still just. it's the shame of forgetting a minus sign in your newton's laws. its the embarrassment of tripping in your determinant once, saying -2+3 = -1. none of these things matter in the larger schema, and i conceptually wholly understand him its just a mistake i wish i didn't have to make.

i am CALMING the storm my fangs are away . my cartography skills are not needed here . ok loveyou all have a good day BYE